the whispers of a child

we just heard from Amy's sister Laura. While she was pr@ying with her (almost) 2 year old son, she heard him mumbling under his breath. She listened closely and he was saying over and over, "Jeff and Amy." Is that the sweetest thing you've ever heard?

No more virus... stoopid Jeff

Well, the good news is, my computer is virus / spyware free again. The bad news is, I think the whole thing happened for me to learn a lesson. What lesson? Well, I think that G0d wanted me to have a little moment where I went through the stages of "pity-party," "poor me," "why?" and maybe others that I can't quite think of right now.

I had this HUGE issue to be in control of this situation and just to fix it (hmmm. Guys? Do you hear me here?) So I wanted to fix it myself. I didn't want to pay for software, I didn't want to ask anyone, I just wanted to do it. I think it's because of my need to feel successful.

I'm getting very little feedback now-a-days that I'm doing a good job, or that I'm getting something accomplished. It's not that things aren't getting done. They are. I'm just realizing that I have a need to 'hear' from people that what I'm doing is valuable and worthwhile.

I know that this is an aspect of my 'people pleaser' behaviour (whoa - did I just spell that in British English?) And I need to seek encouragement and affirmation from a more divine source, I'm human.

So anyway - the good news is, the computer's fixed, I'm enlightened a bit, and the day is begun. Welcome to Friday.

World upside down

I'm not much of one to write pessimistic or frustrating things. But today, I'm pretty low (for silly and stupid reasons) and I just needed to vent some of this out.

If you know me, you know that I lean to the type A side of things (organization, time oriented, focused on task, accomplishment, multi-tasking, order, etc) <-- this list itself is an example.

So there are things that are the tools of my life. I really dislike the fact that I seem to need a utility belt like batman to exist, but it helps me organize my life and with all that faces us on a daily basis with living in a foreign culture, accomplishing our work, language study, being a 'new' husband and desiring to do an incredible job, and everything else -- I sorta can't afford for things to not work.

I have a horrible temper. Most no one knows about it, because it's very rare and it almost ALWAYS is only directed at myself. It's funny how little things pile up and then I just can't deal anymore.

As someone who thinks of himself as civilized a civilized man, it's interesting when you have the caveman response... just when frustration mounts and suddenly you realize that your biceps are filling with blood so you can hit something. Just a natural response that I have to suppress - but all the same, I'm human.

So I am time oriented. This means I look at my watch at least once an hour (who am I kidding) Probably 3 to 4 times. My watch broke 2 or 3 weeks ago. It's not that I can't get another watch... it's that I want THAT watch. I know it's silly. But I like what I like. It's so frustrating when you know it's silly, but it doesn't change a thing. I use it as a tool. It beeps at set times to remind me to pr@y. It has alarms that remind me to go home or to a meeting. It's nothing fancy - just a timex...

So I use my computer to work, to think, to relax, to unwind and destress. It's my connection to America, family, Russian words, lessons, planning for teaching, meetings, blogging, reconciling reports, finances, etc. Basically without a computer, just cut off my right arm (yes, I'm right handed).

So I spend quite a bit of time with it and it is customized for my specific use. So using just any computer isn't the same for me. And I don't want to hog Amy's machine, because she also uses it for many of the same uses.

So I frequently run virus scanning software, anti-spyware, cleaning programs, etc. to keep it running well. Turns out that in my stoopid pride, I was trusting the anti-virus to notify me that the updates weren't working! It was 8 months out of date and I had to uninstall it and install a new version to update it. While it was uninstalled for all of 10 minutes I got a virus. It's basically shut my computer down. It's taking over half the memory and it's lodged in the explorer.exe file (basically the operating system)

It's okay. I found (after hours of work) a program that can get rid of the virus. I bought it online - very trusted - etc. And because I'm living here in Russia and I have a US Credit card and it's going through a third party German company, there's a hold for 4-24 hours. I mean, just cut me some slack!

It's really fine. It's no big deal, it's a mountain and mole hill issue. It's just because I use it for everything and usually can fix things like this so quickly.

Well, thanks for listening/reading. Please pr@y about the silly thing - it'll be fixed soon.

Plus it's just hard to get things done. Tomorrow I'm supposed to open a garage for one of our staff. I spent 3 hours trying to get it open one time and I had to call like 3 or 4 people for help. It's never fun to feel like a moron. It's not that it's the most complicated thing in the world. (It is complicated though) I just do it so rarely that I never remember how to do it... You can pr@y about that too.

Updates...

Just a reminder to take a look at the column on the right - we'll try to update it at least once a month... it got updated this morning!

white skies turn to blue?

looks like the sky might clear up today. Amy and I are hoping for a great time to connect with each other today. We're planning to listen to the Word in English and then take a long walk and discuss the lessons that we heard. I know, it sounds hopelessly exciting and romantic - and you're incredibly jealous. It's what we need too. Our time at ch^rch yesterday was another one of those amazing Russian lessons when you learn such words as 'share,' 'vision,' 'consolation,' 'suffer,' 'despot,' 'delusion,' 'persuasion.' Now if we can just keep them in our heads somehow.

We had a small shock last night on the way to pick up the car. IV needles. A WHOLE lot of them. They were in a little secluded place, about 10 or 15 of them. We know that IV drug use is a big problem, but to just see that someone would be taking them outside near a small shed... it made us sad, a bit scared, and just longing to make a difference here.

As we were driving last night to pick up some groceries, the 5 days of rain were apparent. Water has really collected in some places, and I kid you not, I literally played Moses when I drove through a puddle. The muddy, brown waters literally stood out on the sides of the car! It was kinda fun, and there were no pedestrians nearby, so I didn't feel like a heel.

Oh, we also invited all the young people from ch^rch over next week on Sunday. Please be thinking about this time!

Getting things done...

so today Amy and I took care of business!

So a couple of weeks ago, the battery was stolen from Jim's car while it was sitting outside our apartment They also tried to steal the headlights (tried! they were unsuccessful). Anyway, today we finally managed to buy the screws that we could use to hold the headlights in place. This was made possible through the help of our friend Sergei. He was one of the interpreters at camp this summer. It was really quite cool to spend a bit of time with him and to see his shop. Here are a few photos.

Sergei and I outside his store

Sergi inside his store

Thankful

The other day I was walking around Tyumen after meeting with some friends of ours and I felt so encouraged. I realized that it was because I am already able to communicate (imperfectly, mind you), but communicate all the same IN RUSSIAN! Last year I took 16 credit hours of Russian and honestly, at times I felt like giving up. Now that I'm here in Russia I am thankful beyond words that I had the opportunity last year to learn as much as I did. In the months (and years) to come I'm going to have to continue to study my rear off, but I'm so glad to have had a head start.

Getting to "Think" Out Loud

The other day I got to talk with a dear friend on the phone. We were wrapping up the conversation and I decided it would be great to "think" together. This is something that I've never really done before-that is, "thinking" with someone else without the use of certain terms, certain types of language. It did feel pretty strange, but was so encouraging, too. We talked about how it freed us some, to know that we don't have to use specific words because our Dad knows exactly what we mean when we think. So for all of you who are "thinking" about us here, know that your thoughts mean more than words can express-so keep it up!

And the rain rain rain came down down down...

I think it's only been raining for 3 days now... but it feels like longer. The whole city is wet and Tyumen is a dusty city. So, that means a MUDDY city when it's raining. We usually sleep amazingly well when it's rainy, but last night was a disaster.

We had a horrible time sleeping. We were exhausted after 3.5 hours of company (we had the past0r and his family over for dinner) and talked about plans for the Fall. We were exhausted when they left at 11pm. We got in bed to read for a bit, decided to just turn out the light and then didn't sleep until after 4am!

Amy's stomach isn't feeling very well and there were multiple trips to the bathroom (yay for new toilet seats!) -- So we were both restless and not sleeping. Around 3am we just got up and watched the rest of a movie that we had started a few days ago. By 4, we were ready to attempt what seemed impossible - and we finally crashed out after reading for a while.

It's about 5 in the evening on Thursday and we've been trying to get Amy feeling better. Fever (mild one) is gone, and she's finally resting well.

AND - we found pseudo-chicken noodle soup. So life is really good. I leave to teach in an hour...

We had a meeting yesterday with the teaching coordinator at CET and I'm a bit worried, because looks like I'll be teaching mostly in the evenings. Please pr@y that somehow my schedule can be more open in the evening for m!nistry purposes. I know it will work out for the best.

Guests at the apartment...

We sure have had our share of guests already this year. One of my favorite things about being married is that Amy and I can host people in our home.

This is our first time hosting someone from the ch^rch. And it's the p@stor and his wife and youngest son. Amy made her third chocolate cake since we've been here... and this one was INCREDIBLE. So delicious. Our meal was meatloaf, potatoes, cabbage and a few other lovely items... they were impressed! Amy has some MAD cooking skills.

Check out this cake!

Meet the Kurmangashinov's

Seriously in August?

I was walking home from teaching (about a 30 minute jaunt) and I realized something interesting... I could see my breath. I'm really not kidding. Look at today's date. Yes, August 19 at about 8:30pm. I can see my breath. Now, I have to give you that it's been raining... but seriously. Glad I've got an umbrella.

P.S. After living in Tyumen for 6 weeks, I FINALLY found a replacement for our toilet seat. It's even a matching color. It was much less expensive than I thought it would be. And it's already installed... took less than 5 minutes. And now when you sit (sorry if you're squeamish) the seat doesn't pinch your bottom! And it's CLEAN. Amy and I danced around the apartment a little in celebration.

stating the obvious

I guess it's obvious that we've been a bit busy lately. Thus the lack of posting here. So there are a few items to mention:

1) we are doing fine and we're safe. The war in Georgia isn't near us at all. In fact, it's closer to Italy than it is to us. Thank you all for your concern!

2) we just had an INCREDIBLY busy week. Several meetings with ch^rch folks, CEC staff, colleagues, etc... all in Russian. We are exhausted following these meetings and are brains are reeling. We are so blessed to have people speak with us frankly, honestly, openly and simply.

3) We spent 4 days last week from Wednesday to Saturday at ch^rch family camp - we'll post photos too. There were 26 of us. 3 others also spoke English, so there was a small amount of respite - but we wanted to practice. So it was up early, speak Russian. To bed late, speak Russian. Apparently I spoke to Amy in Russian in the middle of the night!

4) We've had a LOT of people over to our apartment. The fewest we've had in a week is about 3 or 4 people, with the numbers soaring into the 30's many weeks. We're really enjoying the opportunity to be hospitable, but it takes it's toll when the house should be clean all the time and there are that many people coming through. We're also shopping, cooking, baking, doing dishes (literally hours a day). And there's the difficulty of not knowing.

We spend a great deal of time just becoming familiar with the city and where something can be found. For example we need to get: a cord for the hard drive, a toilet seat, a bathroom door handle, a bolt for the headlight to Jim's car. They are all located in different stores in different parts of the city. I think (through the help of our friends Sasha and Zhanna) we've found stores where each item can be located. So now it's a matter of walking to these places and getting them all - then pulling a Tim Allen and making the Home Improvements happen.

Phew - more later and some pictures too.

Ch^rch Camp

We just returned from 4 days at Ch^rch camp with our friends from H0ly Tr!nity Presb!teri@n Ch^rch. It was such an awesome time. Amy and I were reticent at first to go, because we weren't sure we were ready for 4 days of Russian language immersion. It turned out to be WONDERFUL and we not only had the opportunity to serve, but we enjoyed ourselves and made some new friends too!

There were actually 4 other English speakers there (Russians of course). We didn't speak much English at all, but it was nice to know that there was someone who could fill in a word here or there for us! The highlight of the 4 days was meeting Andrei and his wife Natasha. We're hoping that they can become our friends! They have two darling daughters who are the feature of the first photo of this blog entry:Nastia and Sophia

We were at the same location as Camp Kovcheg, our summer camping program. It is just beautiful. Check out this canoe that the locals use for fishing.

Canoe

Amy and I were initially told that we'd be in charge of the kids program for the four days. Of course we were overwhelmed at the thought of being in charge of 13 children all by ourselves... especially when we have no discipline vocabulary. So, we eventually whittled our main task for the camp session to activities/games for the kids and adults -- and we threw in some homemade cookies as a bonus!

Leading games

In honor of the Olympics - we had our own Olympiad at camp!

We had daily B!ble studies, crafts, and evening meetings around the camp fires. The times were really good, and Amy had her first BIG language breakthrough at camp. Really just being immersed is so good for language. Well, I even started speaking Russian with Amy! And in the middle of the night too. That was a bit of a surprise.

Here's Amy & I studying Russian during the evening meeting. Whenever someone is speaking, it's a lesson for us. We're always writing down new words and looking up meanings in our dictionaries.

A few last minute shots to round out the entry:

Amelia as Cinderella -- she loves to mop!

Natasha leading the kids in song.

Russian boys in one of Russia's favorite past times - chess!

Walking and Talking

Today I had the opportunity to hang out with a few Russian friends for several HOURS! It was great fun. I spoke Russian for about 2-3 hours of it, which at this point is a great deal of progress. I've been in group setting where Russian is spoken for longer, but NOT in a one-on-one context.) I'm excited about all that I'm learning and the best thing is that, while I'm practicing my Russian, I get to know some really great people. Today I hung out with Tanya, one of the interpreters from camp, and our good friend Zhanna. A funny side note is-the other day I was walking with Zhanna and we were speaking in Russian and I realized at one point that I was having a hard time doing both at the same time. Learning a new language really does take you back to being a little child . . .

Amy (the delinquent blogger of the Brakes :)

Ministry in the Technological Age

I'm sitting in our living room listening to Amy's keyboard clacking away. She's chatting online with one of our new Russian friends, Mary. She's actually ministering via chat... on facebook. I'm not even kidding with you. Mary is asking really great questions. She's only a few hours away by train, but to experience how much ministry has changed is really interesting.

Isn't G0d cool? I'm really amazed at what life is like here and how we're being used in ways unexpected.

Telling Time

It’s so interesting how life unfolds. I’m teaching my students – one who speaks quite well and one who is a beginner – how to tell time. So it occurred to Amy and I that we need to practice telling time as well. It’s a simple day to day thing, but really important. There’s telling the exact time now, there’s telling the time when something happened or happens and all these crazy prepositions to figure in. Well, let’s just say that Jeff & Amy have some practicing to do. The good news is, we’re doing very well with out numbers. A typical Russian cell phone number is 8 999 444 33 22 (11 digits in length) It’s a bit tough to get all those numbers in your brain as they come at you machine gun style.

Amy discovered yesterday that if you just let the numbers flow over you, that you can actually understand… especially if you’ve got paper and pen handy to write them down.

PS – the wire transfer went through! Yes.

Amy's Birthday

What a wonderful and awesome day. You probably already heard via email that Amy had a wonderful day. So much love from everyone! Thank you! She got all kinds of emails, facebooks, and phone calls. Thank you!!!! It was a wonderful day, but we had our moments of stress.

You see, in Russia it’s normal to prepare your own birthday meal for your friends. So Amy and I spent about 3.5 or 4 hours cooking. We made several mistakes that you might find interesting or funny. We hoped to make a Maasai meal for everyone. But we couldn’t find Kale. So last night at 10:30 we had to change our plans. We both love lettuce wraps, and we thought, we can do that! Well, we didn’t find water chestnuts, but we’ll make due. We didn’t really think about the fact that we’d be mincing an entire meal for 10 people. Chicken, mushrooms, peanuts, two sauces, cabbage – the chopping went on and on. Amy actually thinks that we dulled the knife.

The cake we baked last night (well, Amy baked the whole thing – I just tend to think in ‘we’ all the time now) didn’t turn out exactly as we had hoped. The baking soda is different here. So, it cracked. We decided to have birthday ‘dessert’ instead of birthday cake. Chocolate cake pieces, whipped cream and raspberries. Yum! So after getting lunch mostly ready, I ran out for whipping cream and berries.

There were no berries at the store. Or the fruit stand. Or with the ladies on the street. So no berries. Okay, with some whipped cream it’ll still be great. (whipped cream because we didn’t manage to find powdered sugar so we couldn’t make frosting). So I bought 20% fat cream to whip. I whipped for 40 minutes. Amy helped. Turns out you need around 30% fat content to make whipped cream. And you shouldn’t try to whip more than 1/2 cup at a time… I was trying to do 3 cups. Oh, by hand. So needless to say, I’m sure I’m going to have a sore arm later on.

Well, lunch was great. We had a wonderful time with the staff at the CEC (Cultural Education Center) and headed home to try and rest on our “day off.”

I took Amy to dinner at a restaurant and on the way home we had to RUN because it was raining. It was fun and we felt like kids in the rain, splashing in puddles.

Happy Birthday Amy!